You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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