It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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