You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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