I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
