Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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