You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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