My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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