the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
