We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
