Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
