Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
