Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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