Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
