Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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