whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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