You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
