Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
