god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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