Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
