So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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