i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
