yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
