Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
