dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
