I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
