Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
