Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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