oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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