She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
