Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
