ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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