I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
