worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
