He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
