Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
