I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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