Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
