I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
