Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
