i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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