I love black thongs
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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