Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
