she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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