she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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