she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
