some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
