If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
