Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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