I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
