clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
