Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
