when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
