It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
